Mother baby relationship

Mother-child relationship
Each mother-child relationship is unique and begins long before our child is born.

Remember the time when you desired a child or your thoughts when you realized that you were pregnant. Not to mention your pregnancy and labor…

Did you want a child?
How did you react to the news?
What physical and psychological state were you when you were pregnant?
How did the delivery go?
How was your first contact?
Do you adapt easily to your child’s temper?

Each of those steps was influenced by thoughts and emotions… Each of those steps is part of your lives and of your relationship with your child.

Regret and guilt
Many of you regret some thoughts, emotions or reactions. You wish things had been different and you are afraid of the consequences on your child or on your relationship. Or you feel guilty and you want to fix the “wrongs” that you think you have caused to your child.

Is there a thought or a reaction that you had related to your child and you still couldn’t forgive yourself?

If you have regrets or if you are feeling guilty, it is important to try to forgive yourself and to accept what you have been through. Remember that you acted to the best of your knowledge and that you had no bad intentions. Make peace with the past to avoid dragging this energy into your relationship with your child. Your guilt could influence your behavior or make you feel even guiltier when your child will go through tough times.

To begin feeling better, I suggest an exercise that is in my book. Write a letter to your child and express your regrets, your emotions, your deceptions and the way you feel as a mother. Avoid censorship so that it is truly liberating and once you are done throw the letter away!

Relational challenges
Most people believe that because we wanted a child, our relationship with them will be wonderful! We believe that our love will protect us from problems and conflicts. In fact, love will help us to remain engaged in this relationship when disagreements will occur.

Through their temper, their behavior or their attitude, a child can trigger unwanted emotions. Sometimes, our relationship with our child may be difficult if we are constantly forced to face our limits and our flaws. It is as if some situations were getting to the worst of us. Most of our scars, limits and flaws will be highlighted on this road to motherhood. It is, therefore, necessary to learn to do some soul searching to understand the way we feel and learn from the situation. Blaming our child is never an option.

By taking full responsibility, we build strong foundations to this relationship that we care about so much. Whether we have a baby, a young child or a pre-teen, the goal is to build our relationship every day, to accept their temper, to tolerate a behavior that displeases us, to express compassion for their distress and to do so even if we don’t understand!